Today is the worst day since I've been in Canada. Though I did a really good job in Finance class for presentation of Citibank China, though I dressed up stunningly as every single day, still feel like shit since I woke up. When I get used to life in CA, I start to suspect the drive pushing me here without any hesitation. I used to think it should be CA itself but now kind of lost and and regreted why I am here, this purtain house which made me even hard to take a breathe. I regret not following Amy to move at the beginning of Sept, I regret doing such kind of nasty things which made me not 'Jude' at all, I regret why not staying in SH to earn a worthy life with so many job offers in banking industry, I regret why not choosing Vancouver or Calgary which are more familiar to me, I regret why I am always set myself at last place and offer a seat to strangers, I regret I am kind of cool heart always pretending indifferent to the people raising me up always.

 

I konw I am bad, but just can't help into the tomb.

 

Jude, when will you wake up truly?! Why you always make it bad and let others down?!